<!DOCTYPE html>
<html>
<head>
<meta charset="UTF-8">
<title>Good God, let me give you my life by mrs_pennylane</title>
<style type="text/css">

body { background-color: #ffffff; }
.CI {
text-align:center;
margin-top:0px;
margin-bottom:0px;
padding:0px;
}
.center   {text-align: center;}
.cover    {text-align: center;}
.full     {width: 100%; }
.quarter  {width: 25%; }
.smcap    {font-variant: small-caps;}
.u        {text-decoration: underline;}
.bold     {font-weight: bold;}
</style>
</head>
<body>
<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/22381285">Good God, let me give you my life</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/mrs_pennylane/pseuds/mrs_pennylane'>mrs_pennylane</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Project Blue Book (TV)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Also new scene so, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Diving a bit more into the shooting scene, M/M, Quinn's POV, The rating is because of the subject and the swearing, bottled up feelings, complicated feelings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-01-24</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-01-24</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-04-28 16:15:17</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,537</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/22381285</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/mrs_pennylane/pseuds/mrs_pennylane</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>"More shots were fired and Michael held his hat, lowering his body more to the ground. He could feel Allen's hands on his back, clinging to his shirt tightly and it made him proud to be able to protect Allen like this, to be the one Allen is clinging to in this moment..."</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>J. Allen Hynek/Michael Quinn</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>57</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Good God, let me give you my life</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Yeah, I'm back.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p>
<p></p><div>
  <p>Michael's heart beating skyrocketed the moment he heard the first shots - they were in the middle of the desert and save for the jeep and the rocks, there was nowhere else to take cover. It was a shooter on the hill, Michael had quickly discovered, and he had the advantage over them. Quinn had had more than one moment like that in his war days, with Germans shouting and shooting at them while they tried to take cover in a place they hardly knew, a place they couldn't call home at all.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>And so, Michael knew exactly how to react to these type of situations because he had been there so many times. Except Allen Hynek <em>didn't</em>.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>Right in front of him, the professor stood awkwardly trying to find the source of the shots but failing, and when one of the them hit the jeep's headlight, it came to Michael how close Allen was to get shot a<em>nd he hadn't fucking moved from his place yet</em>. It was bad already that he was feeling strange after his encounter with the UFOs, that he was trying to forget and not relive every moment of that day, that he tried to convince himself that it was all an illusion, so adding the idea of Allen getting shot made Michael's whole spine freeze and when he turned around, he was already screaming.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"DOC, GET DOWN!"</p>
</div><div>
  <p>Screaming wasn't enough and Michael ran towards him, grabbing any piece of clothing his hands could so he would drag the man to safety behind the jeep. But then it also came to Michael that this was caring <em>too much</em> and right in front of other people, who didn't know them, who couldn't possibly discover the feelings Michael had been nurturing for Allen. Ever since Allen saved his ass in DC and they came back vowing to be on the same page in their work, Michael's heart had been beating faster for Allen, despite his relationship with Susie.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>So when he dragged Allen to take cover, he immediately released him as if this was just partners having each other's back. Ok, they really had each other's back as far as he was concerned but he didn't want anyone to think <em>more </em>of this. In fact, there wasn't nothing more anyway. The feelings, the worries, the banter, the confusion... it was all inside of Michael and Michael only.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>But Michael damn well wanted to hold Allen close to his chest and protect him even more. Protect him from getting shot in the head because Michael's body would be in the way and wouldn't let that happen. Protect him from whatever shady shit Harding was trying to do here. It was still hard for Michael to deal with a fucked up chain of command and he had his loyalty divided but when it came to Allen's life, nothing came in the way.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>Michael looked behind him to see that Allen was still down, fear written all over his face. This - all of this - wasn't ordinary for Allen yet, an university professor used to deal with classes and students only. Even if they had already encountered so many situations along the way, getting received with shots wasn't something Quinn thought his partner would get used to. And the Captain really didn't want him to get used to that because it meant Project Blue Book was getting too dangerous and he wouldn't allow Allen to continue in those circumstances.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>More shots were fired and Michael held his hat, lowering his body more to the ground. He could feel Allen's hands on his back, clinging to his shirt tightly and it made him proud to be able to protect Allen like this, to be the one Allen is clinging to in this moment...</p>
</div><div>
  <p>And then the shots ceased.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"He is on the move! Shooter is getting away!" The AP screamed and Michael dared to look up and get up.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"LET'S GO, LET'S GO!" The a group of AP got into their own jeep and went in the direction where they saw the shooter had gone.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>But Allen hadn't gotten up yet and Michael looked to his side to see the man still frightened, breathing hard.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"You all right there? Got you." Michael asked hoarse and he received a faint 'yeah' from Allen but that didn't convince him. Still, he couldn't panic, he couldn't hold Allen tightly to his chest and say they were fine, they were <em>alive</em>, <em>Allen was alive</em>. The Captain grabbed the professor's arm and he could feel how much Allen was shaking, how much his legs could barely stand his whole weight. They didn't have time for this though and soon enough Allen recovered, standing strong.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"You got to get out of here!" The AP who was talking to them previously said and his jeep followed the other ones that had left.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>Michael followed them leaving and when he looked back at Allen, the man had a tense stance. He wish he could ease that situation but right now, he wasn't in his right mind to do that. Harding was trying to silence them, <em>kill them.</em></p>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>●●●</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>
    <em>"Are you feeling ok?" Susie asked laying down next to him.</em>
  </p>
</div><div>
  <p>
    <em>"Yes, I'm good." </em>
  </p>
</div><div>
  <p>
    <em>No, he wasn't. It was getting harder and harder to live without not remembering his plane falling down, the system failing on him, the strange lights in the sky that he tried to engage with. And then he would dream it was Allen instead in the plane and the professor didn't know how to pilot, so he fell and fell and fell until all Michael could see were the flames. Thinking about the UFO he encountered was bad enough, but his brain had to fuck it all up even more by adding Allen to it. It gutted him badly.</em>
  </p>
</div><div>
  <p>
    <em>To think in the beginning, he didn't even want to have a partner and he honestly hated when Allen was trying to get to be bottom of something.... Now he couldn't sleep without being afraid of losing the man.</em>
  </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>●●●</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>"Captain? Captain? <em>Captain?? Captain!</em>" Michael finally went back to reality, facing a very concerned Hynek. The professor was shiny from sweat and he looked tired from today's event. Michael placed a hand on his nape, where he had burned earlier. "Stop touching that."</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"I'm just making sure the bandage is still here." Michael argued, but it sounded dumb to his ears, so he pressed his lips together in a thin line. Honestly, this day was fucking awful. He looked up to Allen. "Are you OK, doc?"</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"Yes, I'm fine." Allen answered, but it didn't seem for real, and Michael tilted his head to the side, raising his eyebrows. "I'm just... I know I've been in a 'shooting' before..." And the professor raised his hands to add quotation marks to the word 'shooting'. "But this was terrifying. I froze in place and if it wasn't for you, I'd have gotten shot."</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"I don't expect you to know how to react in situations like that, doc. It's terrifying for everyone, it doesn't matter if that person has been to war."</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"But it felt like I paralyzed and you didn't, no one there did."</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"Allen." Michael let the first name slip through his lips and Allen focused completely on him as if he had just cast a spell on him. "Stop saying that. You were not trained to react in situations like those."</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"I know, but-"</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"No 'but'." Michael sighed deeply and he searched for the pack of cigar in his pocket. "I'm happy you are safe."</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"<em>You saved me</em>." Allen replied and he sat down on the bed behind him. "Thank you."</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"It's part of my job." Michael needed quickly to brush off Allen's gratitude so he wouldn't think more of this than it was. And because he couldn't let Allen see how much he cared.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"No, it's not." Allen said harshly, but didn't provide further explanation. Michael licked his lips and took a drag of his cigarette, puffing the smoke in the air.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>They stared into each other's eyes for a solid minute and as much as Michael's head couldn't stop its billion scenarios with them and the things he wanted to say, he didn't break that silence. And neither did Allen, who kept watching as Michael smoked his whole cigarette.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>Maybe, just <em>maybe, </em>they didn't need to say anything to each other - only a dumbass would see the way he fiercely protected Allen and think it was just a friendship, hence the reason why he needed to start controlling himself in public <em>for real</em>. But fuck, they were staring into each other's eyes and it was intense and it was capable of breaking a hole through a wall. It were blue eyes with a piercing look and brown ones that tried somehow to hide what he was feeling, but Michael felt like it was all about to spill from him in one big traumatic revelation, like filling up a cup until it was too much liquid and it just overflowed the whole goddamn room.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>Someone called for them. "Captain Quinn, doctor Hynek!" And so they broke the gaze and looked towards where they were being called.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>
    <em>Thank God.</em>
  </p>
</div>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Story title taken from Take Me To Church by Hozier.</p></blockquote></div></div>
</body>
</html>